Thursday, August 20, 2009

You Gotta Watch...

Man Vs. Wild
With Bear Grylls

Certain individuals exist in today's society that are a special breed of insane. This breed does not include standard issue craziness such as frantically talking to yourself or putting peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in your pockets. The type of insanity I am referring to transcends these base-level, novice crazy-person habits and enters a realm in which people deliberately throw themselves through the ice of a sub-zero frozen lake in Antarctica, or drink the blood that's pouring from the freshly slit throat of a reindeer they've tied to a tree. It's the type of lunacy that encompasses feasting on the carcass of a dead zebra that has just been ravaged by a pack of lions, or drinking the water you manage to squeeze out of a fresh ball of elephant dung. These individuals exist, and luckily for us, one of them has his own TV show on the Discovery Channel.

Man vs Wild with Bear Grylls is one of the most sick, twisted and unbelievably addicting programs I have ever come across in my 23 years of television watching, and it just keeps getting better. Every week Grylls plunges himself into the depths of a different nightmare situation, whether it be stranded in the middle of the Sahara Dessert, wading through the putrid swamplands of Scotland, or sliding down gargantuan vines next to a waterfall in the Amazon, Bear is always knee deep in the shit.

Some controversy arose when the media got wind that Grylls had apparently stayed in a hotel on a night when he was supposed to be sleeping atop the jagged face of the Sierra Nevada mountains. People felt betrayed, duped and disappointed. But considering earlier that day Mr. Grylls pulled a three foot salmon from a stream with his bare hands, and then ripped its spine out with his teeth, I'm willing to overlook the fact that he grabbed a shower at a Motel 8.


  1. How does this guy not get disgusting parasites living in his intestines?

  2. Bear derives most of his energy and good ideas from the parasites living in his intestines.